Troubled by other people

One thing has been realized.
I just cannot like 'other people'

No matter what, the existence of 'other people' has caused tremendous misery.
It is impossible to like others.

But no matter how much you dislike others, your dislike affects no one but yourself. This is extremely difficult to accept. Why cant my dislike result in their destruction?

Who are these 'other people'? And who dislikes them?

Remember you opinion of other people only affects you. 'Other peoples opinion' is a thought which only affects you.

So although it is not easy to implement, stop caring about the behavior and actions of 'other people'. Why do you allow yourself to be troubled by your imaginations regarding other peoples activities?

Even if you think that they are getting influenced by your choices, your malice will affect none but yourself. Whatever you think about other people only affects you. Not the 'other person'. Realize this.

Let them be influenced by your choices or not, let not your mind be troubled over the actions of other people. Do not be bound to 'others' in thought.

Some thoughts are like addictions. Realize that what matters in the end is who you are. No matter how selfish this might sound, this is what is important.

Some realizations

Here are some of the things I've realized:

1. Most of our thoughts are spent in thinking about how 'other people' perceive us
2. The biggest worldly attachement is relationship
3. Inner silence is the greatest treasure

The day you stop caring about other peoples perception of 'you', that day you will find yourself free.
Stop chasing after meaningless relationships.
Be ruthless with what matters.
The man who has no relationship is definitely not the most unfortunate person.
We are terrified of being all alone.
Being completely alone and isolated from people is scary.
Work is more about relationships than activities.

Being fully alone can be a scary experience. We need the presence of other people to acknowledge our own existence. In the absence of 'other people', our sense of who we are starts to dissolve. All we see is the great emptiness that lies at the heart of existence. This creates a profound fear.

Relationship

Most of our energy is drained in maintaining relationships. The maintenance of relationships and thinking about our relationships with others is the largest consumer and drainer of our energy. Toxic relationships are like poison to the soul.

Yet relationship is what gives meaning to our lives. Living with this paradox requires wisdom and understanding. Prioritize a few key relationships. Forget about all others.

But above all, take time to reconnect with your inner self in silence. This is the most fundamental relationship and the one which matters most. In solitude, one finds the source of ones self. That is silence. This is the first relationship and the only one which truly matters in the end. All other relationships are artificial. Yet, one must have relationships in order to live.

Family relationships are important worldly relationships and must be maintained. Relationships with a few close friends is good to maintain. Relationship with your boss or employer is an important worldly relationship and must be maintained, but less important than family relationships.

Tread the soil of worldly relationships very carefully. They are the largest consumer of thought and the biggest attachment.

But in the end remember that the only relationship that truly matters is the one with your own inner self. This is realized in solitude. This is the relationship of absolute silence. The silence of pure awareness.

Travel

Traveling the world is the passion of a fool. What purpose is there in travel?
They say it is the journey that counts. But isn't our life itself a journey?

Travel is done to change the environment which changes one's habitual patterns of thought.
Putting oneself in an unfamiliar environment completely changes one's perspective.
We seek vacations from our routine. But the true vacation is vacation from the mind. This cannot be achieved through traveling. The mind remains no matter where you go. Placing yourself in a different environment merely changes the thoughts in your mind. Routine thoughts are replaced by different ones. This is the effect of travel. To change the repeated thoughts in the mind seems to be the effect of travel.

Void and choice

There is a great void that lies at the heart of existence.
All our activities and relationships are an escape from this void.
This void cannot be eliminated by any  activity or relationship.
Our only freedom lies in our response to this void.

Do you choose to start a family to avoid facing the void?
Do you choose to serve the nation to avoid facing the void?
Do you choose achievement?
Do you choose to become a prophet?

Or do you choose to live with it until death?

Our response to this void is the story of our life.

What story do you choose?

Consciousness alone is

Imagine that the world that you see outside is not really there.
Imagine that the person you think you are is not really there.
All that is seen is not what is there.
Neither is the one who imagines seeing it.
Only consciousness is.

So it has been said.

A fundamental doubt

What are some of the fundamental things that matter...let us investigate..

Imagine that you are right here right now....What is it that you exactly crave? What is it that you exactly fear?
This world fundamentally makes no sense...we find ourselves here and absolutely no clue about what to do or where to go? How does one decide what to do at this very moment? What needs to be explored? How is one supposed to feel? Who is one supposed to meet? What is one supposed to do? Who is one supposed to ask? Deep down, there exists a fundamental doubt. A fundamental doubt. Can this fundamental doubt be extinguished? All our pursuits seem to be a way to avoid facing the fundamental doubt. What is the fundamental doubt? Why are we so terrified of what others think of us? Who am 'I'?

Who
am
I?

Relationship

Thought itself is attachment. Relationships are one's biggest attachment here. The fear of being alone is the fear of having no relationships. Without relationships, who am I?

When there is no relationship, what remains? That which remains always, whether you are with someone or without, that alone is true. There can be no fundamental relationship. At a fundamental level, there is supreme aloneness. No relationship is possible at the deepest level. Relationship is only a thought. Who you are is incapable of relationship. Because there are no others here. Only emptiness.

Voidness

What is truly wisdom? No matter how many books or scriptures one pores through. Intellectual and theoretical knowledge is completely bland. It is of no use when the real tests arrive. When there is suffering or some great darkness has enveloped the mind, mere theoretical knowledge is completely useless. What then is of real value? A strategy to avoid suffering is of no use. Instead go deep into suffering and endure it. That itself will result in true knowledge. Knowledge which is part of your being. Mere reading of books is of no use here.

The truth as they say is 'Consciousness is all there is'. But how has knowing this really affected your life?
You find yourself still operating under the same thought patterns. Infact, you find that life is still exactly how it was before the knowledge arrived. Mere intellectual knowing makes absolutely no difference.

What is really the fundamental fear?
It is that if I do not act, if I refuse to be a part of life, I will die...
I fear that I am really incapable of deciding what actions to perform...
i find myself incapable of determining how to live an effective life..
I find myself incompetent...
I have no idea how to live my life...what needs to be done and what needs to be avoided
I am unable to determine the right time for action...
I am unable to determine whether to act on my desires or not to act on them..
I find myself unable to determine which path to choose..
Infact, I find myself completely incompetent in life skills...
I don't know what to do and what to avoid...
I don't know if I am right or wrong...
I find other people living life so smoothly whereas I keep stumbling along...
I find others so bold whereas I am stuck in my fears...
How is life supposed to feel like?
How am I supposed to decide what to do?
I find myself detesting other people
Detesting all whose lives seem so smooth...
What am I supposed to desire
What am I supposed to do
Is happiness the goal of life
Whose advice to follow
Should I hold on or let go?
Should I be working or relaxing?
Having choices is a source of great misery
How does one walk the middle path
Why is life so uncertain?
Why is my knowledge all theoretical?
 I don't know anything..
Should I even be writing this now?
My great tendency is to escape into isolation
Is it good or bad?
Who will answer these questions..
Only I see the thoughts in my head and the countless decisions made every second...
Why am I feeling so full of dread?
Is it only a thought effect?
Why do I feel terrified of isolating myself?
What is this world and who am I?
There is a great fear inside...
Fear of not knowing...
Its terrible, this state...
I feel like I am losing hold of things...
Falling into the void...
That I will fail...
And fall...
In this moment, there exists a great void...an absence
Nothing to do, no one to be with...

Consciousness is all there is

Remember this forever:

There is only consciousness.

Consciousness alone exits.

Consciousness is all there is.

This alone is everything. Nothing else needs to be known.

Thus we have been told.

Remember

Its good to remember this:
You cannot predict anything. The mind can only create deluded notions.
All these notions are nothing but fancies. It is better to not trust the mind.
Nothing that it shows is true. It leads only to greed and destruction.

Peace lies beyond all notions. Even the notion of liberation is bondage.

 

Living in the world of forms

This world appearance is inseparable from consciousness. Thus, it will never cease.
Consciousness will always assume some form, although only consciousness alone exists. Is it possible for a flower to exist without its perfume? Or ice to abandon its coolness? Similarly, this universe is nothing but consciousness. It is the flavor of consciousness.

So, the best course is to live in this world knowing the truth of consciousness. This world appearance is made possible by the mere existence of consciousness which alone exits.

Thus we have been told.
 

Fear of being alone

Who is afraid of loneliness and being alone?
It is only the mind which fears being alone.
The thought of being alone only occurs to the mind.
The Self alone is. Even the concept of being alone only makes sense when there is the thought of 'others'

When there are no others, there is no 'one'. This is a fundamental fear. Fear of 'non-existence'.
 

Relationship and misery

We spend our whole lives seeking meaningful relationships. Yet, it is relationships which cause us most suffering. It is our relationships that we are most attached to. It is here that most of our energies are directed. And it is here that most of our troubles are caused. There is nothing which causes so much misery as relationships. To be attached to relationships will cause nothing but suffering. Avoiding relationships will cause even more suffering. The best course therefore is to allow relationships to arise. No need to get attached or seek to avoid. Just remember that in every relationships, it is just a role that you are playing. You are not your role. You have absolutely nothing to gain or lose from relationships. Ultimately all relationships are illusory. No point being attached and giving over too much power to these issues.

When caught in the grip of relationship, remember that these are all just passing shows and have absolutely nothing to do with what you are. Caring too much breeds only misery. This includes approval by others. Caring about others approval or criticism is a complete waste of time. Be free from the bonds of relationship. Be free from the desire to avoid relationships as well. All your relationships are illusory. Consciousness alone exists.

Suffering

Identification with the body...this consumes tremendous energy.
This is the root of wickedness and misery.

To identify with the body is suffering.

Clarity

Imagine that there is absolutely nothing to attain.
Imagine that you have obtained all that you ever desired and there is nothing left to desire.
No where to go.
No one to be with.
Now what.
There is absolutely nothing left to do.
In this absolute desirelessness, what remains?
Only that which cannot be avoided.
Which cannot be grasped.
Which cannot be attained.
Forever here.
How does it feel?
It feels very light.
Like.............
Everything else is for what
To attain this...
But this is always unattainable...

There is nothing but this...
Clearness...
Nothing to do....

But this is always here...
Thoughts prevent seeing this...

It seems like a great void...
An absence...
So we run away...Back to our desires...and fears...
Back to the world...

Thought train for malice

Malice for another person.
A thought of ill will for another.

This thought assumes the reality of the other person as an independent entity.
Once the reality of another independent entity is assumed, one assumes that pleasure for the other entity implies pain for me.

Let us follow the following thought train.

1. Self ignorance
2. Independent existence of a 'me'
3. Independent existence of an 'other'
4. Identification with the 'me'
5. Dis-identification with the 'other'
6. The 'other' is unknown
7. The other is a 'threat'
8. The other's happiness is a 'threat'
9. The other is 'not self'.
10. Self alone is dear
11. Hence the 'other' is not dear
12. All that is 'not self' deserves misery.
13. 'The other' deserves misery
14. 'Happiness for the other' is not tolerated
15. The 'not self' should be destroyed
16. 'The other' should be destroyed.

'The other' exists as an independent entity only in your perception. There is nowhere else where it could exist independently. By consistently believing in the independent existence of 'the other' this belief has strengthened enormously and has solidified into an appearance which looks real and ominous. However, it is just a powerful delusion, not an actual fact.

What appears as the external world is not different from the thought in your own mind.

But,
1. 'The other' is an illusion
2. Hence it cannot be destroyed (being non-existent)
3. Perception of an 'external world' is an illusion.
4. There is none but the self.
5. Hence malice is based on delusion
6. Self ignorance is the root of all misery

Real

That which is real, exists even now.
There is no need to do anything to gain that which always is.
Just stop seeking.
That is all.
Give up the false conviction that truth is attained by seeking.
This alone is required.
Give up belief in attainment.

Overcoming desire

Desires play havoc with the mind. Caught in the grip of desire, the mind becomes turbulent.
There is along with desire the presence of fear. Fear over not acting on the desire. This fear always accompanies desire. Is the satisfaction of desire the purpose of life?
Does the satisfaction of desire ensure peace?

Desire originates from a place of incompleteness. You are unable to feel complete at this very moment with what is here and now. You imagine that the incompleteness that you feel right now is due to not acting on your desire. You believe that attaining the object of your desire will bring you peace. This belief is not true.

This is because ignorance causes desire. Desire is only possible in a state of ignorance. When you forget the truth of consciousness, you immediately fall into the trap of desire. Remember, consciousness is all there is. There is no external world. There is no separate 'you' who is feeling incomplete. All there is, is only consciousness. The moment this is forgotten, you are trapped. Overcome by desire, you fall into misery.

To believe that the external world can satisfy in any way is ignorance. Only this conviction is to be gained. Consciousness alone exists. Nothing else is there. All that is seen is mere appearance. Without any reality. To realize this is supreme peace.

This is what we have been told.

Moments..

The moments of our life passing by...
Every moment beginning and ending anew...
Life keeps moving...
Milestones keep passing...
People come and go...
Longings for something...
Dance of love...
What a strange dance is this life?

Everything leaves...nothing stays...
But always new beginnings...

Thoughts to live by

Here are some thoughts to live by:

1. Do not desire events to happen as you want them, but want them to happen exactly as they do and life will be well.

2. Know that you are forever perfectly content exactly how your life is. Do not desire that which is not there right now.

3. I am perfectly at peace right now with my life circumstances. There is no need to change or avoid change when it knocks.

4. There is no need to believe that life will be better or worse at some future state. Life is perfectly fine right here, right now, inspite of all that has happened or not happened.

5. There is no special state to seek. Contentment exists at this very moment without anything to seek or avoid.

6. Awareness alone is. Peace is forever here. Absolute peace exists right now. There is no circumstance where peace cannot be had.

7. There is absolutely nothing to seek.

8. There is no treasure greater than contentment.

Dealing with regret

Regret is one of the most powerful emotions. When it strikes, it can seem to consume every space in the mind. Every minute is spent in thinking about it. Dealing with regret is one of the most challenging aspects of being human.

The truth is this...no matter what you do, the past cannot be undone. No matter how deep or intense the emotion, the past is gone. Denial of this causes great misery. The relationship has ended. The job is gone. The illness has struck. etc.

Dwelling on the past will only intensify the misery. However, the mind is strange. It has no mechanism to obstruct a thought. Hence in order to get rid of or tackle a thought, it must be attacked with another thought. To tackle the thought of regret, another thought has to be used. One thought which works is to contemplate the utter irrelevance of all that happens. Of all actions and inactions. Or to believe that ultimately everything happens exactly as it is supposed to happen. There are no mistakes. All is ordained by forces beyond our limited understanding. Everything happens for a reason. There is thus no scope for regret.

Truly all that happens, happens exactly as it should. Inspite of all your precautions, things happen which are not to your liking. Everything in your life is exactly how it should be. Your life circumstances at this moment are exactly as they should be. Realize this fact. Everything is exactly how it should be, inspite of all your actions and in-actions. There is no doubt about this.

Relationship

Relationship is life's most important aspect. In a very fundamental way, the happiness of your life depends on the quality of your relationships. The most important thing in relationships is truth and genuine good intentions for the other person. In the absence of these, no relationship can stand.

Inner peace and happiness depends on the quality of relationships. Having no relationship or bad relationships inevitably lead to suffering. It can be said that good relationships are more important than career and health.

Remember, good intentions and truth.
In case you have to choose between the two, go for good intentions.
 

Blah

Bastards, there is absolutely no problem ever. Ego or no ego.
There is no ego. Only this.
It is absolutely irrelevant what you do with your life.
It does not matter even a little.
Suffer if you must.
Live in fear if you choose to.
Only one exists.
And it matters not what you think or don't think.
Fuck it all!!

Ha ha ha...nothing to realize...nothing to know....no one to be....it is glorious freedom which knows nothing!!

There is no 'I' to get rid of.

The final renunciation

After all other attachments are removed, only one remains.
After all else has been renounced, only one remains.
This one is the sense 'I AM' or attachment to the personality.
To renounce this is liberation.
Nothing else.
To hold onto this is bondage.
Nothing else.
Once the notion 'I AM' is renounced, no other renunciation is needed.
 

I AM

The feeling "I AM" is the greatest obstacle to liberation.
Without the sense 'I AM' there is nothing to be liberated from.
The feeling 'I AM' is nothing but a very dense energy stuck up in resistance.
It is the stink of ignorance.
The notion 'I AM' is the cause of all misery and suffering.
Without the notion 'I AM', there is absolutely nothing to desire.
No problem whatsoever.
The notion 'I AM' is not real.
Because there is no separate entity.
It is merely very dense energy, like a nuclear bomb.
To be free from the sense 'I AM' is liberation.
This alone is liberation.
Always be on guard from this dense emotional energy. This is the only evil.

This notion 'I AM' is the foulest impurity.
There is nothing more foul than this notion. No evil greater than this notion.
It is the root cause of every misery and evil action.
It is the sole cause of terrible confusion.
The moment it forms, it grows like a snowball rolling down an avalanche.
Within moments, it becomes huge and completely engulfs you in darkness.
It is opposed to everything else. It is the terrible demon which needs to be slayed as soon as it appears. Else it will devour everything.
Death is its biggest enemy. Hence death is your best friend.
To surrender to death alone is liberation.
Once 'I AM' is killed, that which is remains. The original glory.

The notion 'I AM' is the sole bondage.
Liberation is to be free from this notion.
Nothing else is needed.

Ultimately, the notion 'I AM' is not real.
There is no 'I'.
Only this.

This.Here.Now

The illusion of fear strikes again. This time a dread about the future. Uncertainty looms large. However, that which is real is absolutely certain. Uncertainty is an illusion. Uncertainty is the nature of illusion. Absolute certainty is truth. Because the future does not exist, it is always uncertain.
There can be no certainty in that which is not present now. No thought can be confirmed as true, either yours or someone else's. Since the future is fundamentally uncertain, no amount of thinking or planning can eliminate this dread. Right now, there is nothing to fear. Root yourself completely in this moment. All your fears are mere thoughts. By considering your present state just as a reference point for the future state, you are unable to root yourself in this moment. What is there to be afraid?
It is just the mind playing tricks. This is what the mind does. Be aware now.

There is no future now. Why then does the future seem more real than the present moment? Why does the future always command more attention? There is a habit of thinking which keeps referring to the future. Keeps imagining the future. Is addicted to thoughts about the future. And hence always afraid. What will other people think of me? How shall I survive? Shall I remain a failure? Shall I become bankrupt? Who is this 'I' who is always terrified? How shall I manage? Why am I wasting time? Why am I not working?

Am I really in control here? Am I really the thinker of these thoughts? Have I made the right decision? Am I making progress? When ther is no right or wrong decision, how should I choose? When the result is uncertain, how should I choose? What is uncertainty? Why is it so terrifying?

Let us become deeply aware of this moment. Let us look at this very moment. Forget for a while, thoughts of future, past and yourself. For a moment, let us assume that what happens to me is irrelevant.  Now, what remains? Just this. Isn't this what you seek? All your fears are fears of losing this. Anxiety about the future is due to possibility of losing this. Uncertainty is the possibility of losing this. Now, is it possible to lose this? It seems as though this would be lost after death. There are two cases. Either this is lost. Or this is never lost.

In the first case, who is aware of losing this? If this is lost, there remains nothing. No fear. No sense of loss. Nothing.

In the second case, this is never lost. Hence, no fear. No sense of loss.

In both cases, there remains no fear and no sense of loss. Hence both fear and loss are not real. Yes,  you may have to endure thought of humiliation and loss of honor. But this is not lost. This is never lost because even if this is lost, there is no one to there to be aware of the loss. Hence this is forever. Since loss is not real, it can only exist as a concept. Never actually. Now, this can NEVER be lost. Therefore rejoice. Humiliation is just a thought. An idea. Not a reality. All that can be lost is just thought. Nothing more. All that can be gained is also just a thought. A mere idea. All thoughts are not real. Therefore, ONLY this is real. This cannot be lost. This cannot be gained. This is always here. Right now. It never leaves because it never came. This is clarity. This is absolute certainty.

Thoughts come and go. Fears come and go. Uncertainty belongs to thought. Thoughts can create massive delusions. But this is forever untouched. This is supreme confidence. Absolute certainty. Nothing else. No idea or thought or relationship (also a thought) is reliable. When you forget this, you are lost in thought. You are subject to hallucinations like fear and anxiety. Can the thought of failure ever touch this? It is not the world but this which is the treasure. This is the cure for all sorrow. This is untouchable. Thought intimidates. But this liberates. No circumstance can stand in the presence of this.
 

Restless

The state of restlessness is strange indeed. It creates the illusion of lack. Lack gives rise to seeking.
Seeking feed backs onto restlessness and the cycle continues.

All this happens without cause. Restlessness is movement. Movement is thought. Thought is desire. Desire is seeking. Seeking is restlessness.

Contentment ends the cycle. Rather allows the cycle to be. There is no need to end desire. Movement is desire. Movement happens. Yet the awareness of movement is still. Awareness is unmoved. Immovable. Incapable of desire. Pure existence.

Awareness is choiceless and voiceless. Movement is its nature. But it is not movement. Its very presence causes movement. This movement is experienced as thought. Thought is experienced as the world. Awareness alone exists. There is nothing to seek from the very beginning.

Awareness and thought

We see the external world through our eyes.
But what is it that sees thoughts?
It is awareness.
Awareness of thought is analogous to sight of external objects.
Thought is motion in awareness.
Awareness alone exists.
Movement in awareness is thought.
Thought creates the illusion of the world from this movement.
The notion of a self and a world out there.
All this nothing but movement in awareness.
There is in reality no external world nor a self.
Awareness alone IS.

Mind

It is the mind which is the source of all misery. Left free and without any activity, it creates nothing but confusion. A mind which has no activity to focus on will inevitably breed mischief and misery. Hence the importance of activity.

All suffering and all misery is of the mind alone. Hence, the most important task is to control the mind. Left uncontrolled, the mind will play havoc. To control the mind, become aware of this moment. Watch how being present automatically reduces the mind momentum. Become aware of awareness. Let awareness enter. This automatically slows down the mind and brings it under control. Focused activity can also control the mind.

Slow down the mind consciously. Stop believing everything it says. Be aware.
Awareness is powerful. The mind is automatically stilled when awareness arises.
When the mind is stilled, awareness becomes stronger.

In perfect awareness, the mind is lost. This alone is peace.

Be rooted in awareness. Control the mind. Bliss is yours now.

Thought

What does one write and why does one write?
Are these thoughts which are penned down real?
Are any of our thoughts real?
We live our lives and witness a million thoughts each day.
Where do these thoughts come from?
What purpose do they serve?
Are they real?
The thought to question thought.
The elusive nature of thought.
What is consciousness?
How is thought related to consciousness?
Who can answer these?
How can these be answered but by other thoughts which are themselves questionable?
Thus we come upon a deep paradox of our condition.
Thought which is our best tool is found unreliable.
So what do we do then?
Our thought about ourselves and the world around us...what determines these?
Is there someone thinking these thoughts?
Or are they merely witnessed?
Why are thoughts so elusive?
Why do we seem to be bound to our thoughts?
What is the fuel for thought?
Who wants to know?
There is no thought. Only this.

No chaos

When illusions create chaos and restlessness, remember clarity.
There is a silence underneath all chaos.
A silence of pure intelligence.
That is deeply aware of its presence.
No chaos can enter here.
It is always.

...

There is no enlightenement.
There is no liberation.
These are illusions.
There never was.

Ha

The truth exists at all times.
That which IS remains forever IT.

But from our point of view, things keep changing, including our perception of truth.
Truth is independent of perception and experience.

But the despair of the individual keeps coming and going. Truth remains unmoved.

All your seeking and working and resting make not one inch of difference. Ha, so wonderful!

Wanderer

Words dont reach far, but yet what other tools to we have?
Silence is powerful.
The heart is still.
What lies here?
At this very moment?
Stop your search for a moment and look.
There is only this!
No more is ever needed.
Peace is forever.
O lonely wanderer,
search your own soul
and you shall be me
Only I exist.
 

An ode

When the mind is still, awareness takes over.
When desire is absent, contentment is present
When you are removed, consciousness remains
Silently alive, refreshingly original
Motionless
Deeply immersed in activity, when the mind is still, consciousness is present.
Perfect allowance
Effortless perception
the mysterious presence
Witness of the witness
Everfull, always here
Untouched by evil, untouched by good
Evershining darkness

Brooding

This life of ours is strange indeed. Suddenly you find yourself engulfed by a void, a void of complete emptiness. There is nothing there, no hope, no desire, nothing to do, nowhere to go, no one to meet. Its all consuming. This void exists at all times. It is only in solitary moments when we get aware of it.
All our activities is just an escape from this great void that lies at the core of existence. All the drama in life, all the hook-ups and all relationships are an attempt to escape.

My life has turned out to be completely barren. Nothing to look forward to. No relationship to seek. No success to chase. Just emptiness. Is it really possible to escape this emptiness? If it were, wouldn't we all be pursuing that? All things end. All relationships end. Everything is eventually lost. We spend our days in longing and desire. Longing for the touch of the true beloved. Seeking in all corners of the earth and the mind. Yet does this search ever end? Our relationships change. That which seems wonderful today becomes painful tomorrow. The longing is deep and intense. Caught in the midst of a story, the void is forgotten. But inside ourselves, aren't we truly alone? Can another person accompany us into ourselves? Can this futile search ever end? Is there a thing called contentment?

Why do we seek? What do we seek? Who do we seek? What is this void? What is fear? What is true? What is missing at this moment? Can you ever separate yourself from this moment?  Is there an end to illusion?

No matter where you are. No matter what the situation you find yourself in. There is just 'this'. This is always here. There is no way that 'this' can be lost. The whole world is ultimately fated to be lost. All your relationships will fall. They were never real in the first place. Only 'this' will remain. And 'this' is all there is.

The root cause of all suffering is holding on to the sense of 'I-ness'

The individual that you think you are is just a delusion.

There is no individual.

Now

Who?

Who is this person that is living this life?
Who is this person that feels discontented?
Who is this person living in stress and anxiety?
Who is this person who is trapped by circumstance?
Who is this person who feels the need to be loved?
Who is this person who feels deeply inadequate?
Who is this person who feels lonely?
Who is this person who feels despair?
Who is this person who marvels at the universe?
Who is this person who is living this life?
Who is this person who desires enlightenement?
Who is this person who seeks liberation?
Who is this person who seeks the love of a woman?

Who wants to know this?

 

Inadequacy

Every fear in life and every sense of inadequacy dissolves in awareness.

When you lay down the burden of circumstance, there is nothing to separate you from awareness. This awareness is who you are. This alone is to be realized.

Seek?

There is nothing left to seek anymore. Just sit back and enjoy the show.

Bleakness and despair

Sometimes the world seems like a place of despair. Stuck in this ocean of misery and loneliness, everything seems bleak. Why is this attachment seem so real? What is the purpose of this world? Why do we continue to pursue that which brings misery? Why do we refuse to give up our own suffering?
Why do we continue to pursue a mirage? Why do we refuse to let go completely?
Why do we live like animals,foolishly attached to our own burdens?

This whole world is nothing but pain. There is nothing to seek but our own destruction.

Awareness

What could be the cause of conscioussness? Where could awareness come from?
Can there be two awarenesse's?

Can there be a second witness?

Only awareness can be found. There can be nothing else. This can only be realized by awareness.

There is no other.

One

Salutations to the One, by whose grace this universe exists.
Salutations to the One by whose grace this person exists.
Salutations to the Absolute One which is the sole reality.
Thou art that.

Rage

Today there is anger arising. Rage over a person, for no particular reason. Rage because of his mere existence. Sometimes the feeling arises that some people do not deserve to live.

But the rage is in here. Rage over all the people out there who seem to be enjoying life and living in peace. Somehow this seems contradictory and yet it arises. Rage and envy over all the peaceful ones. Living indifferent to the existence of others caring for noting but their own peace of mind..

Point

The thoughts arising are more numerous than the stars in the universe.

Calm down the mind. Turbulence, be still.

The point where all notions cease, that itself is real.

Anxiety

Anxiety is a constant companion in life. Like a roommate who lives in the same house as you. The trick lies in learning to live with it instead of trying to get rid of it.

Anxiety will be there until death. This anxiety however is not real.

Corinthians 13

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. ² And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³ And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

⁴ Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; ⁵ does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; ⁶ does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; ⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
⁸ Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part. ¹⁰ But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
¹¹ When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. ¹² For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
¹³ And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Love

There is only one purpose which can make everything meaningful --> that is Love.

In the end, love is all that matters. The silent and mysterious force behind the universe. Love is the greatest thing there is. Where there is love, nothing else is needed. Love is that which makes all the pain and suffering endurable. The whole universe shines with meaning because of love.

Love is the end of all seeking.

Subjectivity

The sense of subjectivity is an illusion.
The sense of being a subjective witness to all that is seen is also an illusion. This is what sustains the entire illusion. It is the sense 'I Am' that is the foundation of illusion.

Peace

At the end of the day, all that is of value is contentment.
All this search for reality, liberation and enlightenment and absolute truth is done only end discontent.

Only one thing is needed for contentment --> to accept circumstances as they are
Inability to accept reality is the only cause of discontent.

Accept life circumstances, accept failure, accept humiliation, accept suffering, accept pain, accept failure, accept disease, accept death...give up all expectations, give up hope...accept completely this life at this very instant...inability to do so is the cause of all your seeking...even accept your inability to accept...the seeking may never end...just be at complete peace with everything as it is...this is the only requirement.

serenity

This is the path to serenity --> to allow things to be as they are...to give up the need to fix things...to be rooted in awareness...to embrace death...

Give up hope and attachment to your self image...this self who you are so attached to is not real...

Turbulence

Turbulence arrives. The mind is washed with a countless waves of thoughts. It is the force of desire which creates this incessant stream of thoughts. Attachment creates suffering. You cannot even give up this attachment. Your desires keep driving you. They will keep driving you.

Fear is a driver of desire. Fear of death. Death is real for all who believe in birth. Still this inner turbulence driven by fear and desire. Come home to stillness. Fear is not real. A peaceful heart. Come home to the unborn.

Unborn stillness. Unborn awareness. Stay in this deep ocean of bliss. Rest here now. There is nothing else. No world out there. No one who sees. Only Peace.

Perceiver and the perceived

The perceiver is as real as the perceived. When there is nothing to perceive, there can be no perceiver.

The perceiver is bound always to the perceived. That which you perceive has no independent existence. You who are the perceiver too have no independent existence apart from the perceived.

What if in reality there is neither perceiver nor the perceived? What remains then?
This question cannot be answered by a perceiver.

In the absence of an object, there can be no subject. Hence both the subject and object are unreal.

Nothing more can be said.

Seeking

What is the fundamental illusion?
It is to live a life seeking enlightenment.
To seek love, pleasure and enlightenment --> this is the prime illusion.
Root yourself in this moment. Anything which takes you away is not real.

Stop seeking enlightenment.
Stop seeking pleasure.
Stop seeking the perfect relationship.

Root yourself right here, right now and abandon all seeking.

Deepest fear

My deepest fear is that I am alone in this universe.

Relationship

It seems to be true as they say that our lives are bound to others. Relationship is the most important thing in life. To be in the company of loved ones and to laugh and share with them, this is what happiness is. This is ultimately why we live. Life may be like a dream, but in this very short duration that we have, it seems that what matters most is the love we share among those we consider our own. Ultimately, it all comes down to love in the end.

Restless

We live in an age of restlessness and incessant activity. Stillness has been forgotten. Life is rooted in stillness. Yet, that is the element that we are least aware of. It is awareness itself. Stillness is awareness. Restlessness will not take you anywhere. You are already here. This moment is forever holding you. Why do you seek to escape it?

The world will call out to you with its ten thousand and one issues. But that is not where you belong. Even now, you are held by stillness. Stillness is awareness. Silent awareness. Just this. This.

Random

So what is it that can be ultimately relied upon? It is not relationship since it is fragile and can be easily broken. It is not career since it too is fragile and depends on others approval. It is not wealth since it can be lost. Neither is it health since it too declines.

Right here in this very moment, there is a deep stillness. Untouched by thought. Untouched by anything external. Rest here. Be still. Deeply quiet. This is home.

Now

It is this moment right now that is most important. Nothing else.
This moment is all there is.

Stop

We are fundamentally alone. Nothing in life actually makes any sense.We need activity to keep us occupied. Otherwise the futility of life becomes obvious to us. What keeps us in the game is hope. Hope of a better future. Hope of future enjoyment. It is the only thing which makes the present pain endurable. What if that hope is removed. Life is exactly how it is at this moment. Life is as it is right now forever. Salvation lies in this very instant. It is the restlessness of the mind that deludes us. Immerse deeply within yourselves.Have you ever considered the actuality that you are not who you think you are?

Life is not supposed to be a joy ride. This world of appearances cannot give lasting happiness or peace. Stop seeking it here. Stop the mind. Just STOP. That is all.

Suffering

This is the crux of suffering - the desire to please others.

A simple life

Sometimes we start underestimating the absence of major issues in our life. A simple life free of many trivial issues is something to be grateful for. Yes, it might get boring sometimes. And lonely too. But remember that boredom and loneliness are not bad. Still the mind and they disappear. It is the mind which creates boredom and loneliness. The mind cannot remain for long in a non-seeking state. It is when the mind is very quiet, when very few thoughts are seen to arise but not followed, when a deep stillness engulfs that Peace engulfs.

Absolute Peace

The world is created by mental activity. It is the activity of the mind that causes the world to arise. Stop the mind and you stop the world. This is Absolute Peace.

Peace

Life can get turbulent at times. Sometimes we do not act in calm. We act out of urgency and desperation. This can create inner turmoil. Sometimes we face boredom which can also create inner turmoil. Idleness seems very good when you are extremely busy. But let it last for a long time and that very idleness becomes a curse. We are like helpless logs being churned relentlessly by the currents of life. Amidst all our acts, not all perfect and all the guilt's and all our regrets and all broken relationships it gets really turbulent. Sometimes we think we are going insane. Action and inaction can both lead to despair. Hence there is no redemption in either action or inaction. It does not matter whether you act or do not. Peace lies in neither action nor inaction.

But there is a stillness that transcends both action and inaction. Amidst great turbulence, there is always a stillness present. This needs no effort to attain or maintain. This does not need the approval of the world. This does not need the presence of either action or inaction. It is untouched by both. This stillness is not inaction. This stillness is not idleness. This stillness is not of this world. It is not idleness or inaction. Without action and work, there can be no inaction and idleness. This stillness needs neither. To take refuge in idleness and inaction is not what is pointed. Both work and idleness, action and inaction are equal. You cannot achieve stillness or peace through inaction or idleness. It is futile to seek refuge from action in inaction. They are two sides of the same coin. Neither action nor inaction can lead to salvation. So why seek idleness? Why do you engage in inaction hoping to achieve peace there? In truth there is neither action nor inaction. Stop seeking inaction. Stop seeking idleness. No outward action can lead to truth. Stillness transcends both action and inaction. Neither in activity nor in rest will you find it. It is the activity of the mind that creates the world. Stop the mind and you stop the world. Here is Absolute Peace.

Life and loss

Imagining that we are immune to some bad occurence, or imagining that something can happen only to others and not ourselves is one of our biggest follies and this is especially where life delivers its hardest blows. There is nothing which happens to others which cannot happen to you at some point. No matter how proudly you imagine yourself to be immune to certain calamities in life, life always likes to prove otherwise. Bad things happen to good people because good people imagine that bad can only happen to other bad people and that they are immune from it and thus believe that it cannot happen to them

Watching somethings happen to others and believing that because our nature is not like theirs, we are immune from it is a big illusion and one that is especially shattering when disillusionment occurs. Do not imagine that undesirable things cannot happen to you.

So also is the reverse. Most of the bad things which you imagined could easily happen to you never did happen actually. Life always hits hardest at the point of your biggest pride. Do not be so proud and believe that you are immune to failure. Unless you want to be disillusioned.

Accept that life is unpredictable and it can strike hardest when you least expect it to. Do not live in an illusory world of safety. Recognize that the world is dangerous and must be treated with respect. You never know where and when it will strike. Always be alert. This is the best road to safety. But if you are brash, you will get hit. And when it hits, it hurts bad. Do not believe that you are above the law. Always take precautions. If you were an attacker, you would only strike the most guillible fool who imagines that no harm could come to him. Experience is a harsh teacher. The best way to avoid it is to imagine that it could easily happen and take precautions.

Imagine that you could easily lose all your wealth in a single instant.
Imagine that all your worldly possessions could be burnt in a jiffy.
Imagine that you could easily lose all your health in a single instant.
Imagine that you could easily lose your mind.
Imagine that every scary thing you hear and imagine could easily happen to you.
Death could strike any minute.
Loss could strike any minute.
Suffering could strike any minute.
Life is a long lesson in loss. As you get older, you lose more and more.
Ultimately all that could be lost, you could easily lose. This is true humility and even this could be lost.

We live in a world where loss is constantly pursuing us. There is no escape from this reality. Ignoring this reality could prove costly. Be aware of loss. This is the real gain.

Yes, there is no real peace as long as we live. Attaining peace is the biggest illusion. Accept that life will be painful. Life is not easy. Life is the harshest of all teachers. Ignoring the limitations of the physical world will only cause great pain. And might prove to be very costly. Embrace loss. Embrace death. Embrace humiliation. Embrace suffering. Embrace fear. This is serenity.

Stop living in a fantasy world. Life is real. Death is real. Pain is real. Suffering is real. Stop denying and accept reality. This is truly the peace of God.

Sometimes, the consequences of our ignorance can follow us for a lifetime. A moment of ignorance is enough to cause a loss of great proportions. But we must be willing to endure hell if it comes. Know that there will always be losses in life.

Realizing that all things can be lost will result in calm detachment but not negligence.
Do not neglect health but realize that it can be lost.
Do not neglect money but realize that it can be lost.
Do not neglect reputation but realize that it can be lost.
Make the most of it while it lasts or you will regret losing it.
Loss is the name of the game. And death is the final loss.

People will use you. People do not have good intentions. People are selfish. People are cruel. And so are you. It is foolish to expect people to be good if you are good. It is foolish to expect people not to steal if you don't. Since loss is real, use it wisely. Learn from it. Stop expecting the world to change. The world is a piece of shit. And we all die in the end. All that is yours to choose is how you react. Accept your fate. Accept the pain of life with a smile.

Accepting the harshness of life brings great despair. But the point is to endure it. Believing otherwise takes you into darker despair. This may take a lifetime to realize. But whenever the darkness gets too hard to endure, remember death. Paradixically, it is life's greatest gift.

Veil of desire

Desire is the veil which covers the ever present truth. Lust is the permanent foe of truth. When you give in to lust, you lose yourself totally. All that you desire now is the next fix and this desire is unquenchable.

It all begins with a mental image. It ends in destruction of intelligence.

It is desire for pleasure that keeps you held within the dream.

Limitation of physical law

All physical laws are fundamentally limited by the speed of light.
In order to transcend this limitation, we will have to enter the realm of the metaphysical.

The analogue of physical force in the metaphysical becomes desire.

a thought..

It seems as though the purpose of all my mind created experience has been to convince me of the misery created by the belief in a separate existence, apart from others.

Loneliness

A central fact of our existence is this deep feeling of isolation and disconnect. We feel very deeply disconnected from the world around us. We feel separate from others. We feel as though no one will ever love us. We feel as though we will end up living alone without a companion or close friend all through life. This is especially true for loners like myself.

In our minds, we imagine other people to be having a ball. We imagine other people to be so happy and loved and cared for while we languish alone in our own isolation. This feeling of separation casts a huge burden on us. Infact, it has been the central fact of my life. The feeling of being separate from life and the people around me has dominated most of the moments of my life. This feeling has given rise to the desire for companionship. But will the appearance of a companion eliminate this fundamental feeling of isolation?

Why do we feel so separate from other people? Why do we feel the need to stay in our own caves and avoid any interaction with the outside world? Why do we choose to remain reclusive? At this moment, there are so many people who are feeling separate. There are people who feel lonely even in a relationship, which can be even worse than the loneliness of being alone. Can the presence or care of another person permanently extinguish the feeling of isolation? We are each alone inside our own minds. Sometimes, we form communities or create group activities in order to foster connection among people. But each of us ultimately returns to our own internal worlds where we are essentially alone.

Imagine being in a loving relationship. There are moments of connection wherein you forget yourself and experience bliss. But this feeling does not last for long. All of us, no matter who, ultimately has to face the fact of our own aloneness. We are fundamentally alone. Effort has to be made to connect with others. Effort has to be made to maintain a relationship. But our natural state is solitary. We have no choice in this regard. Can we really depend on the outside world to end our feeling of isolation at its most fundamental level?

Loneliness combined with boredom can be an excruciating experience. To endure it for extended periods of time can have drastic effects on the mind. It can affect your thinking. But what here is the remedy? What is it about our existence that causes this fundamental sense of isolation?

If you were the only person in the world, you would not know what loneliness was. Every where around us, we see people enjoying each others company. We see lovers embracing and experiencing contentment. We see friends chatting and having fun. Everywhere around us, we see people enjoying each other. This is then compared to our internal state of feeling isolated. We compare our state 'lonely' with their 'happy' state. This further enhances our sense of isolation. We see that other people are so busy enjoying each other that they do not notice how separate we are feeling from their enjoyment. We start beliving that other people do not care about us and are only interested in enjoying each others company. This is a feedback loop which strengthens itself and leads to increased feelings of isolation.

So, it seems that the cause of the feeling of isolation is witnessing the insensitivity and uncaring attitude others who are busy enjoying each other and do not want us to be a part of them. This world then is perceived as uncaring and insensitive. If there were no other people, there would be no loneliness. So, it is the perceived behavior of others that is responsible for causing the sense of isolation in us. No one can look into our heads and see what we are thinking. Our thoughts are opaque. As long as our thoughts are opaque, we will feel separate.

Do not expect care from the world. Do not expect anyone to see your thoughts and know your feelings. True relationship can only happen when thoughts are not distinct. This world is designed to broadcast separation. As long as you live in this world, you will feel separate. Even the people that you perceive as enjoying each other is just a mirage. An illusion. Believing this illusion causes you to feel separate. Do not be fooled by appearances. We all belong to the same source. This is our true home. It is only here that we will lose separation. All your feelings of isolation come from having forgotten your source and believing in appearance. Know where you come from and you will never feel separate.

Burden of identity

Living alone, sometimes the company with yourself alone gets too hard to endure. Sometimes, all we need is an escape from ourselves. To get away from the person that is 'me'. Being all by yourself is not always a pleasure. There is a feeling, a deep feeling to escape the confines of this person. To be free from identity. To be relieved of the burden of being me. To run away from myself. Nothing seems to be working. It seems that I am stuck with this person for the rest of my life.

The moments in life which take you away from yourself are heavenly. I think the serenity prayer should be to ask God to 'Save us from ourselves'.

A thought

Death is life's greatest blessing. It is excessive concern with ourselves that is the root of all misery.

Stress relief

So what is responsible for all the stress that we feel? The answer turns out to be a hormone called cortisol. Excessive secretion of this hormone by the body generates stress and anxiety. This needs to be released somehow and the most natural way is the 'Fight or Flight' approach. In order to reduce stress, we must reduce the secretion of cortisol. Turns out that there are many ways a few of which are deep breathing, exercise, music, laughter and social contact and sleep.

One of the side effects of social isolation is the increased secretion of cortisol. That maybe the reason why isolation so frequently produces feelings of despair. Walking and breathing can be a deep source of relaxation in these times when human contact is not readily available.

Keep your attention on breath. Slow it down. This is the easiest practice to lower cortisol. And the most basic spiritual practice prescribed by all religions. Breath is also what lies at the heart of meditation. This is the secret link to the stillness inside. The link is breath. It is through breath that we enter the residence of God. Peace.

Love

When the feeling of romantic love strikes you, it can be overwhelming to the extent that nothing else matters. Every mundane issue and worldly concerns  become irrelevant. Only the tremendous rush of emotion consumes your entire being. Nothing matters but the beloved. And being with the beloved. All moments of separation are pure angst.

Relationship

Do not place your security in relationships. All relationships go through continuous change. No relationship ever stays the same. Any relationship which becomes hugely important for you will cause great suffering.
Relying on relationships to give you serenity and peace of mind will not work because no relationship is ever permanent. You must stop relying on impermanent things for peace. Find instead that steady, ever-present always available stillness inside. This deep inner stillness is the residence of God. This is the source of all true peace. All serenity comes from this deep inner place of stillness. God is still. Only God is real. This place is not touched by any relationship, but is more intimate than all relationships. This place of deep silence can be relied upon when all else fails.

Living alone

What is it that is so hard about living alone? Why do we crave human company? Maybe we need our existence to be acknowledged by another. Someone who is aware of our existence. Without another person acknowleding it, we cannot acknowledge our own existence.

Feeling disconnected from the world causes great misery. Maybe this is why people turn evil. Enduring social isolation is hard.

We feel that living alone means death. But let us consider this for a moment...what is the fundamental state to be in? Is it solitude or companionship? Maybe companionship is something that makes us appreciate our solitude even more. Yes, it is not easy to endure living alone. There are many fears and anxieties that will strike. The greatest of them is the fear of death. But what really lies at the other end of this fear? What lies underneath the fear of death? Take a deep breath.Stop for a while.

Come back to awareness. Come home to stillness. Your fear is engulfed.

Do not be afraid of showing your light to the world. To lighten up peoples lives. To spread love. There is no purpose greater than this.

Th shine the light of love into a dark world. This is the purpose of our lives, if there be a purpose. There are far too many people caught up in darkness. There are too many people who are craving for love. Find this love within first. Then help people find theirs. Let us spread some light. We who are aware of how heavy things can get, let us lighten up lives. Join us!

Void

I am reclusive by nature. Always seeking to be inside my cave and avoid interacting too much with the outside world. Maybe I have become an escapist. Sometimes I do not feel the need for social interaction. But take it too far and this escapism turns on itself and becomes fear. Fear of death. A very deep fear. Is this why we spend so much of our time running around in activity? Are we afraid that to stop means to die? At the heart of existence lies a deep void. A vast emptiness. Face it. Let us live from the very heart of existence. Where it is always still. Like the deep ocean. Calm, still and profound. Untouched by any activity. Is this really death? Unless we face it, we will never know.

Let us go deep into ourselves. And then in that profound stillness, discover who we really are.

Darkness

Darkness engulfs you and makes you aware of your own aloneness. Watching inward, you realize that the world does not care. Alone within your reality, you start to see your own flaws and realize that you are a flawed being. You have pushed the world away, and now you believe that the world too has pushed you away. You are now in deep darkness. Alone. Completely alone. What exists in this darkness? Nothing.

Unable to express love, unable to form meaningful relationships, this life has been a lonely pursuit...
Losing all those whom I loved is very hard to endure...
this life has been a story of loss...the deepest loss is the loss of love...losing your beloved hurts deep....yet something carries on...in this crazy journey of love and loss...what remains here always...does love really redeem?...how do you express your love to your beloved?...it is terryfying...yet loss aches...love and loss...is this the story...where is the beloved...where is that which can cure this ache...where is the one who can put an end to all desires at once?

The world is not separate from emptiness.

True stillness is inseparable from movement.

Stress

When the mind is relaxed, the entire world appears as a small dot in awareness...
However, when stress arises, a small issue seems much larger than the entire universe and occupies every inch of space in the mind..In the moment of stress, a small drop seems to be much larger than the entire ocean and consumes you...It seems as though this one drop is all that matters in the entire universe...

Love

It is the feeling of love that lies at the heart of existence.

I Love you

I just want you to know that I love you, no matter what.

All else can change, but I will not stop loving you. I love you.

I love you all, including my problems, my sufferings, my losses, my hits, my misses, i just want you to know that i love you.

Mental noise

Inner turmoil results from resistance. In this world, there are countless incessantly swaying the mind. Our external conditions in life are ultimately not in our hands. Any decision by others can change our external circumstance including our careers in an instant. And it is of no point worrying about issues beyond our control.

The only area where we have control is in how we react to the story of our life. Our mental reactions to our external condition is finally what determines the degree of our suffering. The only place where we have control is hence in our reaction to our situation. This is where maximum change can be affected, for the better or worse. Inner peace consists in our reaction to our situation. A mental state of acceptance and non-resistance helps in developing mental stability. Realize that life is forever out of control and only in our acceptance of this fact and in stop trying to resist the situation can inner peace be realized.

We live in the world, but we are not of it. Nothing of this world, no pain, no external circumstance can affect the calm inner space that lies within us. Like the eye of a storm, there is a profound stillness underneath all the noise of the mind. This sacred and pure space cannot be touched by the mind. No desire or thought can affect it. It is this inner space that is most valuable and which cannot be lost. Make this your home in this world of constant mental noise.

Peace be unto you. Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.

Dealing with heaviness of mind

When the world inside feels heavy and everything seems to be going against your will, then its time to start cleaning. Allow stillness to completely wash you from the inside. Thoughts and memories dirty the mind. They are like weeds and dust. And like everything else, we need to constantly clean up. Try not to judge them. There is nothing outside of you that affects you. All that affects you is within you in the form of memory. Hence, cleaning has to begin within. Allow the soothing balm of deep stillness to wash away your pain.

Forgive yourself for everything, no matter what.
Forgive others for everything, no matter what.
Forgiveness is a very good cleaner!

First, forgive yourself. Only then can you forgive others.

And remember to come home often. Going too far outside of yourself, you only end up messing your insides.

The mind is the most inflammable substance in the universe. Be very careful while handling it.
But remember that when the mind is in flames, you should allow the cool waters of stillness to put out the intense flames.

But best is to retreat when the flames are still manageable. And forgive yourself for judging yourself and others.

Nothing in life is more important than inner peace. Serenity is the most valuable treasure. It is from here that love flows.

Emptiness

It is not the completion of a task, but the emptiness that follows completion which is important.

It is not achievement but the emptiness that follows which is important.

It is not sex but the emptiness that follows which is important.

It is not the satisfaction of desire but the emptiness that follows which is important.

Idleness

I have realized in the midst of an insanely busy life that the most important and only worthy thing in life is idleness. All that I desire now is to live a life of complete idleness after finishing my PhD.

There is nothing better than doing nothing. To enjoy the bliss of nothingness is all that I now desire.
After all this time of running around, working hard, pleasing my boss, pleasing co-workers and pleasing family, I realize that all that I really desire is to bathe in the pure bliss of nothingness.

Idleness is my ideal and idleness is all that I desire. There is no fear in idleness. Enjoy doing nothing. I am a lazy bastard! Forget all grand ambition. After my PhD, I do not desire to work anymore. The only thing that keeps me going in pursuing my PhD is the thought of complete idleness after all this craziness is finally over. I will enjoy a life of doing nothing. This is my ideal. And this ideal is what keeps me going. No more work, but pure laziness.

The zero state

Everything in the universe and in the mind has its origin in the zero state. Emptiness is what lies at the root of our existence. In this nothingness is found the absence but no one is found. We are always here in emptiness. Come back here into the void. Desire takes us outside the void. With the birth of desire arises the birth of the world from the void. The world is desire. Desire creates form. Desire creates thought. As long as the other is seen, there is misery. Supreme contentment is the absence of desire. Desire is absent in the absence of the other. Desire arises from the sense of the other.

As long as the other is seen, desire will exist. As long as desire exists, the world will exist. As long as the world exists, misery will exist.

To stop seeing the other, escape into the void. The zero state is that prior to desire. There is no one here at the zero state. To see the other is the birth of desire and the birth of misery. No peace is possible when the other is seen.

To see through the illusion of the other is to be free of desire.

Value

So what is most valuable in life? That alone is most valuable which cannot be lost. That alone is of value which neither comes nor goes. That alone is most valuable which is always here. That alone is most valuable which cannot be taken away. That alone is most valuable which cannot be given. Lovers come and go. Fame comes and goes. Achievements come and go. Success comes and goes. Wealth comes and goes. That alone is valuable which holds you. Stop. Just be quiet and look. What is here? Be still. And see. Stop desiring. What remains? Go deeper...what do you see? Who sees?
What is this mystery which lies at the very heart of existence? Which gives birth to the 'I AM'...

Dealing with Judgements

We live our lies immersed in activity and hungry for new experiences and stimulus. When we experience some deep loss, the mind can enter into a realm of dense darkness. In this state, it is incapable of seeing any positive. The state of mind which sees only darkness is a state of fear which is born from separation. We live amongst our own judgements. Our judgements of others influence our judgements of ourselves. Living in this world of judgements drains us of all vital energy. We feel lethargic and incapable of functioning effectively in this state. This coupled with panic about our own inner condition feeds on itself and leads to a complete downward spiral. Depression arrives. Despair enters. Immersed in these dark waters, we see no way out. At this moment, stop. Just stop.

Realize that all we ever have to deal with is our own mind. We do not deal with the external world, but our own judgements. Stop judging your condition. Stop judging the condition of others. This is not easy, since we are trained to judge from the moment we are born. What tires you most is the constant judgements arising in your mind. It is a tremendous wastage of vital energy. Even if you stop judging, you will be exposed to the constant judgements by other people hitting your mind. People will judge others and they will judge you. Their judgements influence your judgements. What is judgement? Judgement is the act of labelling. Judgement is nothing but the creation of names and hence duality. Being judged by others is a huge drain of vital energy. Infact, it is one of the biggest sources of energy loss. If you take the judgements thrust unto you very deeply, you will be disturbed. Judgements by your family, your boss, your colleagues, your lover and society will keep coming to you. Like a pile of garbage thrown towards you. Fear of being judged will never allow you to be at peace. In order to avoid being swept and tossed by the countless forces of the world, one must be alert and know what one values most. One must be able to see clearly through the dense clouds of mental beliefs. Underneath all your judgements and incessant thoughts and fears, lies the vast realm of silent awareness. Take refuge here. Come back here. The place prior to desire. Prior to thought. Prior to experience. Take a deep breath and at the point where your breath stops is the entry into this deep realm of vast silence. The sacred inner space which is your true home. What lies here, in this deeply mysterious realm? The realm of deep silence. Who lives here? Can anyone live here? What remains when all sounds stop? What remains when all sights fail? What remains when experience ends? What remains when the world ends? What remains when words fail?

Desire

Desire is the most fundamental force in the universe. In order for anything to be created, whether it is a universe or life experience or external circumstances, it has to first be desired. Without desire, no creation or form is possible. Within the mind, underneath all the thoughts lies the realm of desire (also known as intention and curiosity). It is here that creation begins. It is here that first thought originates. Without it, there is no achievement, no seeking, no questions, no curiosity, no attachments, no suffering. It is the force of desire that creates the multitudes of forms that we see outside. It is desire which creates a universe. To understand the mind, desire must be understood. So if desire creates the world, what then creates desire? It is the perception of separation that creates desire. A sense of something else. A sense of an 'other'. The force which drives the activity of the world is nothing but desire. Something is perceived to be lost. Something is perceived to be 'out there'. A sense of incompleteness with what is creates the urge, the drive, the motivation, the desire to seek for that which will cause completion. A sense of lack creates desire. The desire and hunger for experience, the desire for sex is all created by a sense of incompleteness.

The most powerful urge in this realm is the desire for sex. We seek sex as a means for completion. The world is driven by this most fundamental desire for sex. A most powerful force it is. This force sustains the illusion of the world. Caught in the throes of this powerful force, we are unable to see clearly. We are lost in the forest of the world. Every moment is a fight against this urge. Most desires can be traced back to this one root desire. This keeps us constricted and attached and forever seeking.

We must first see that no experience, however profound can satisfy you. Because the very search for satisfaction stems from a place of incompleteness and lack. You seek experience as a means to feel complete. There is always a sense of having missed out on some life experience. A regret over some lost opportunity to experience something. Something which will lead to salvation. The mind constantly seeks salvation. Always hungry to experience life. More of life experience. Always dissatisfied with non experience. The emptiness of this moment terrifies us. So we crave novel experiences. For how long will you engage in this senseless pursuit? Come home now. You have had enough. Be Still. Be aware. Forget the world. Forget the universe. Come back to the source. Come home to emptiness. Stop this madness. Stop this incessant drive to seek more experiences. This drive will never satisfy you. You will be always miserable and deeply discontent with this moment. Nothing is needed. No experience is needed. You are already complete. Incompletion never existed in the first place. Stop the continuous inner chatter. Stop listening to the voice in your head.

Consciousness and the world

To look outside the self is to see the world of forms. We perceive through our minds and all that the mind is capable of perceiving is forms. The world of the mind is the world of forms or mind images. The mind is incapable of seeing deeper than forms. Since we perceive through our minds, all that we are capable of doing with the mind is constructing forms. Thus, the mind cannot perceive the reality underneath the external forms. Even internally while imagining, all the mind creates are more forms. Thus, trying to understand the external world thruogh the mind is futile.

Now, underneath all forms must be the same basic substance or essence which being all there is must be in you. Thus, you are that which is contained in all forms. For a moment, close your eyes. Now the world is not seen. No 'other' thing is seen. All that remains is the consciousness of being aware or the sense of 'I Am'. This consciousness of awareness is all that remains when the world is not seen. The moment you see an 'other', desire (also called curiosity) appears and you are lost in a mental world of forms again. This consciousness of awareness is all that remains when the world is lost. In the absence of memory and the absence of identity, this is all that remains. The vast peace underlying the waves of desire. Desire creates the world. Desire is created when the other appears. The other is a form created by the mind. When the other appears, 'you the person' appear as well.

When you look into your mind which is the world, you will see many others and many forms and stories and opinions and judgements. This creates great emotional turbulence. All emotion is primarily energy. This wild movement of energy then results in restlessness. And from restlessness is born the continuous urge for activity. And then we operate from a state of ceaseless activity. Never stopping, continuously moving and unable to relax. Thus, we end up living in continuous and endless anxiety. To put an end to this, we must put and end to the mind made world of forms. We must stop seeing the other and start noticing the consciousness of awareness in moments when our sense input into the mind is reduced, especially from the eyes. All questions can only arise when others are seen. When there is no other, and consciousness alone is, what question can possibly be. For an all-pervading consciousness which does not identify itself with any form, what else can possibly be. No questions. No answers.

But when the world is seen, this complex multitude of forms, there is no end to the questions. No end to anxiety. And fear will rule. To see the physical body is the birth of identity. Lost in body consciousness, one is gripped by the world of forms. And is constantly threatened by all other forms. And one is unable to perceive truly.

Rage

Rage...anger...now where does this visitor come from? When the story in your mind conflicts with the dream outside, rage comes up...rage comes from attachment too...it proves that you are still attached....do not have a death grip onto things...obsession will create nothing but fear and anger...

Deep Desire

There is in me, a deep desire for companionship, a deep desire to engage in a meaningful relationship with a woman, physically, emotionally and mentally. Yet, I find this desire extremely difficult to realize. What is the source of this desire? And why am I unable to realize it?

missing sex...

The desire for sex is the most powerful human urge. We are all familiar with it. Sometimes it gets so strong, but we are unable to do anything. Do you believe that you are missing something if you have not experienced sex? Is that feeling of loss driving you to have sex with just about anyone or even a prostitute? The feeling that life is incomplete if you have not experienced sex? Just remember this, life is always complete..even now in this very moment, life is complete, even if you do not experience anything, life is complete, for this moment is all there is, and this moment can never be incomplete...no matter what experience you are going through, or what experience you perceive to have missed, life needs no experience to be complete...you cannot miss anything because you are always here, you can only perceive to have missed an experience or lost an opportunity, but in this moment right here there is nothing but complete perfection...yes, there are many perceptions, some perceive to have missed something, but this is the biggest illusion...if you cannot be here in this moment right now, no experience will ever satisfy you andk you will always perceive to have missed something or lost something...why waste time in seeking for that which you perceive to lack? if life is not complete now, there is nothing that you can do to ensure completion...no matter what your experience or lack of it, no matter how long you live, this moment is all there is...

Very often in life we find ourselves regretting something, or trying to hold on to transient things, but in all our seeking and struggling and striving, we miss the most fundamental and real thing which is just this moment...just rest in this moment...fall asleep...there is nothing more, nothing less...just this, forever now...no experience can ever last...all is fleeting which includes sex and the desire for sex...

The hunger for experience drives the world...but what is wrong with right now?...life does not need a reason to be complete..

who knows?

I am a lazy good-for-nothing bastard. All I really care about in life is nothing. I have no special skills or talents to boast. I really have no desire to work for a living. I don't care if I die tomorrow or even right now. Nothing in life has ever satisfied me fully, but then again, who am I do demand satisfaction from life?

The truth is that I really don't care about anything anymore. Whether I make anyone happy or sad is of no concern to me. I don't really desire high position or fame. Neither do I reject it if it comes. I have nothing more to do. Everything that is done is done. I do not desire to be anyone. I am already who I am. Neither striving nor rejecting, I take whatever comes. I have nothing to look forward to. No solace in looking back. I have no idea if I will survive to old age and neither do I care. I have no idea if I will ever fall in love with a woman again and this too I do not care. I do not know if I will ever have a girlfriend or a wife and this does not bother me. I am already who I am. This is all really. What more is there. Experiences will happen. I will gain and lose. I might have surprises both pleasant and unpleasant. Maybe I will fall in love again. Possibilities will always exist. And I dont care which possibility I choose. I will make many choices. What I will choose or not is of no concern to be. Who I am is choiceless. I am already what I am. There is no choice her. I have no choice but to be what I am. How does it matter what I choose? Or who I choose? There is no motivation left for me. I just drift along whwerever life takes me too. Thoughts come and go. Experiences come and go and then become memory. All experience transforms into memory. And memory itself is not reliable. The story of my life might be one of success or failure. Of loss or gain. Of tragedy or comedy. Of suffering or joy. How does this matter? No solace in anything. No experience everlasting. All that is there is just this. Forever now. I dont know why I am writing this. The desire to know is a huge burden. The desire for the approval of others is the biggest burden one can carry. How does it affect who you are right now? I have no idea why I do the things I do. Why do I have this desire to survive? Why does fear still keep visiting? All these happenings coming and going like couds. But I am the sky, forever the same. Do or not do? Activity or stillness? To do or to be? Does any of it really matter? Why do I keep myself alive? Why is the question still there? Whay is curiosity still there? Why, why, why? Tormented by doubt. How can one give up the desire to know? Why do we have to 'try' to be still? Is stillness an activity to be performed? Countless questions...forever present, no answers...no looking forward...no looking back...who am i then? No great story here, just an ordinary life...no control over anything, though forever trying...what propels me? why express? all is well, or not, no matter, no point..can't stop trying..but trying won't help..deep paradox, this guy will die...so who wants to know, who cares what happens, and why cant i stop??...why to stop? why to continue?...why to love?...why to laugh?..why to be happy?...life is despair...always dark...joy is transient, suffering is transient...but they keep repeating...i care for neither...choice is hell...don't care to create...but cant stop doing...cant stop flowing...what stupidness is this?...comings and goings, gains and losses, defeats and victories, what is real...deeply conflicted desires...being someone is hell...having complete freewill is hell...choice is terryfying...death is the best friend...life is cruel...identity will dissolve...new one will arise..who am i?...a lover, a philosopher, a scientist, a fool, a loser, a student, a teacher, a son, a lazy bum, a sadist, a jealous bastard, a despairer, a creep, a weirdo, a curious guy, a people pleaser, a clown, a hero??? in this play of identity, nothing remains, lost in language, lost in forms...love is just a word...all words just dissolve into nothing...at heart, there is nothing to do and no one to be...being is as futile as doing...no words can remain, all words are useless...attachment to words is misery...nither doing, nor being, nor seeking, nor seeing...fuck shit...nothing here...??????????????????....FUCK....i cannot stand this uncertainty...i have only one desire, to know that by knowing which all desire to know is extinguished...all that i desire is freedom from doubt...complete conviction...uncertainty will kill me...complete and absolute knowing...to become that knowing...doubt kills...to fuck with knowing itself and become knowledge...even love will not satisfy...because there is doubt in love...knowing the knower by destroying everything, so that there is nothing but knowing and no knower...who wants to know??? what creates doubt?

searching for the self

in the search for yourself, you start from the end. so, its unnecessary anyway...

silence

Always come back to the silence which lies beneath all the noise of the world. In the silence, allow life to be..
No matter how badly you perceive yourself to be hit, remember that it cannot touch the depths...which lies always still and unconcerned...

The crux of suffering is this - inability to accept life as it is...i find myself suffering whenever i am unable to accept how life turns out...i have heard that you are responsible for your own life and to realize how irresponsible i have been is hardest to accept...

Coping with loss

This post is for you who has suffered a deep loss in life which you think cannot be replaced...

Yes, loss of something considered to be valuable is a huge setback...please mourn your loss completely, it is only human..and take some time to reflect on it..remember that change is a truth of life and loss is the biggest change..nothing destroys a man mentally and emotionally as much as the loss of something valuable..but when the loss is deep and the mind is unable to cope, retreat within...within yourself, much deeper than the mind lies something profound..something so deep that cannot it be touched by loss...try to find this level within...loss is an opportunity to dive deep within the self...to touch that profound stillness that remains always pure and clear irrespective of any external circumstance...try to look at what lies underneath all your thoughts...yes, life is tough and it is full of hits that come from nowhere...but the heart of life, which is the same as the heart of yourself is untouched by any loss whatsoever...come here now...leave your life behind...realize what lies within you...realize who you really are...the world has no power over you...you have weakened yourself with all kinds of false imaginings...give them up...come and meet yourself in this silence...and then you will realize what cannot be taken away...what cannot be lost...what cannot be chosen...what always is...now...here...always...this is home...allow this deep silence to wash over you...this space is where healing happens...the only way you can cope with loss is to connect with your inner self, that self which cannot be lost and is always present...right here, right now...please enter here...

Some questions

What is the price of freedom?

What is the one true desire underneath all other desrires?

Who decides the worth of one's life?

Who knows the consequences of his choices the moment they are made?

Who knows how life will eventually turn out?

Finally, at the end of the day, whose opinions do you really have to live with?

What is the consequence of being true to who you are?