Fantasy and reality

We have a strong tendency to believe in fantasy. We deeply cherish them, as though the worst fate that can befall us is the destruction of our fantasies and dreams. Our fantasies are too close to part with. Anything, any stories or beliefs that supports our fantasies immediately attracts us. We would rather choose death and suffering over renouncing our deeply cherished fantasies.

The prospect of facing reality as is, without any fantasies, is simply too terrifying. 

The core problem statement

The core problem statement in life is the existence of the self. Or self consciousness.
Self-consciousness is the root of all problems.

In the absence of self-consciousness, there are no problems or suffering. Except for physical survival and physical pain, there is no other problem in the absence of self consciousness.

Self consciousness is developed as a survival mechanism, but has been glorified into unimaginable proportions. The extreme importance given to self consciousness has resulted in all kinds of psychological suffering.

Life plan

1. Decide which country to settle down in by 2025. (at 40) - else default
2. Initiate buying a house by 2026. (at 41)
3. Initiate starting a family after completing 1 and 2. (early 40s)
4. Plan for ~20 yrs of work life post 40 (repaying home loans, saving for retirement, raising family).

The self

The self or self consciousness is a creation of the unconscious processes of life. That's really all there is to it. Its like a perfume from a flower or smoke from a fire. No independent existence of its own. An effect of the unconscious life processes. To say anything about it is futile.

Maturity

We are easily swayed by promises of fulfillment. By illusions of completion. To not fall for promises of fulfillment is the mark of maturity. To recognize the illusory nature of all attainments.

Deepest sorrow

All we have at the end of the day are our memories, hopes, desires, fantasies, dreams, sorrows, regrets. We only live our stories. We only exist withing our stories. Outside of the story, there is absolutely nothing we can ever know. Our self exists only as the subtlest and deepest aspect of our personal and collective story line.

Our meanings exist only in our stories. We exist only in our stories. All we are at the end of the day are the stories. Outside the story, we don't exist and can can never know what is.

And this is the deepest sorrow of our lives.

Best investment

The best investment that you can make is to invest in your livelihood. Forget about the self and all these things.

Our misery

Let us ask the question about why are we working?

Living life in society results in expenses. If these expenses cannot be met on your own, you need to live on charity of others. If you cannot meet these expenses nor live on the charity of others, you move into raw survival mode and are forced to live by the law of the jungle. Then it comes down only to your ability to survive anyhow. For this, you need to be free from disease and ill health.

Unfortunately, if you are not able to meet expenses through yourself or the charity of others and you are in ill health, either physical or mental, death will meet up with you. And then you are free.

Ill health results from disturbance of balance. To come back to balance, that which is causing imbalance needs to be destroyed. Generally, if you are balanced and well, you will survive, but not indefinitely.

Eventually, you will be free from it all. Death is the great liberator.

Ultimately nothing matters, so don't worry.

All that we have is the suffering of our own thoughts, experiences, fears, sorrows and miseries.