be friendly with your mind

be friendly with your mind

Great attachment to family

The crux of the issue I face is family attachment.

Attachment to family is too strong and seems unbreakable.

Of course I wish to be free of this attachment, but this one attachment seems insurmountable.

Especially, the attachment to my mother is too strong. She just does not let me go.

She seems childlike and immature in her affection. This sometimes causes great sadness in me.

The only remedy is to remain detached and let the energy resolve itself automatically. Its true what they say that our lives are so strongly bound to others.

Yet, sometimes I feel that it is the only force that holds me to earth. Otherwise I have no interest in life.

I have no desire to be a great teacher or master or yogi. Or to be of any use to society.

My only interest is to regain the original state. No more desire to be born or interest in this crazy game anymore. It is simply a futile waste of energy for nothing.

Hence directly address the core issue of maternal attachment. Do not take upon further issues.

Getting married should be avoided as far as possible.

Sometimes I feel that I have become extremely bitter and resentful. Why cannot I feel content?

I think miscommunication or absence of clear communication with the people involved is the issue. You are bound by every person who knows you.

Let these writings be distributed anonymously. No one should know my name. I urge you the reader to not try to find out the details of the personality through whom these writings manifest. Please allow my freedom as I have allowed yours.

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like crying out my soul. Why do I force myself to do things I have no interest in? This greatly troubles me.

Maybe liberation is not possible for me in this lifetime. So be it. Prepare in such a way that you can precisely choose the next womb in which you are born and the exact conditions of liberation. Let this birth be a shedding away of all emotional attachments to family. Take refuge only in awareness.

In this lifetime, I am extremely grateful to be born into a relatively affluent family. Yes, from my very birth I had to face no major obstacles and could develop the powers of focus and concentration required for deep meditation. However, there was a contamination of material ambition in both my parents. Both my parents were blinded by addiction to material prosperity and bodily comfort and unconsciously transmitted that contamination into my subconscious when I was young. Hence the great attachment to status has developed in me. This is poisonous. I have been contaminated by my fathers desire for material success.

In my next birth, I wish to be born to a purely spiritual couple who value self realization or liberation as the highest goal in life. I do not wish for my parents to have great attachment to me but to raise me up to be independent as a form of duty or obligation only and then give up the body consciously once the work is done. I pray for their liberation. My future parents should not be contaminated in the slightest by material greed or excessive desire for bodily comfort.

To be born into the womb of the wicked is the greatest misfortune. I pray that wickedness be forever eliminated so that all have equal opportunity for self realization.

Thus, in this lifetime my work is clear. It is to prepare for the last earthly incarnation. Keep developing powers of concentration and meditation and keep self inquiry alive until your last breath. Remember who you are (Pure Awareness) even at the moment of death.

Slowly shed all perversions and wickedness. Be kind. Do good. Remember God. That is all.

The singular requirement for a life free from confusion is that one's path in life be absolutely clear. Not the consequence of following it. But the path one takes  in life be of absolute commitment. To not be clear of one's path only accumulates confusion. In my next birth, let it be clear from a very early age that the goal is liberation alone. Self realization is the sole goal.

Path is through ceaseless inquiry. Vichara (self enquiry). Be conscious every moment.

Depression

Depression overtakes us sometimes.
A wise girl who fell prey to it has given perhaps the best definition of depression. It is the inability to see the good in anything. The only visible thing is darkness. And a sense of being utterly alone.

The only cure is to somehow persist through this phase of darkness in spite of all the visions of despair.

Even when it seems impossible.

Overcoming anger

Anger arises out of resistance.

When you perceive anger arising, it is mainly due to some strong aversion. Anger leads to self justification, which strengthens it further.

When you find yourself angry, first step is to acknowledge its existence. Observe this strong emotional surge arising as intense energy. When you are angry, you are actually unable to see things as they are. Your perception is colored with strong emotion.

So, the most powerful way is to detach from the emotion of anger. You are not your emotion.

When you begin to witness your anger as a detached presence, it loses its fuel. Every emotion like a hot flame is sustained by a supply of fuel. This fuel is identification. The moment you disidentify from the emotion, you remove the fuel supply.

Realize that you are the detached witness of all emotion. Forever untouched by the emotion. This insight takes away the fuel supply. Awareness is empty. Always remains empty.

Breathe deeply and slowly. Slowly anger starts to diminish and awareness starts to increase. Your only task is to stay as the awareness.

Blessings to you beloved one.

On discomfort

Ultimately, everything in life is futile.
You cannot avoid discomfort or some suffering.

Suffering cannot be completely avoided no matter what.

The only choice is what are you willing to suffer for? To find meaning in your suffering is the important thing.

Escaping hardship and struggle cannot be the answer.

Embrace the struggle and chaos of life. Only in this lies true freedom.

On consciousness

Something cannot be created out of nothing. Hence the something that seems to exist is only an appearance.
There is absolutely nothing that exists by itself. Every thing that is perceived and all experiences are experienced in consciousness similar to a dream.

If you dream of a chair, where does that chair exist? Well, the chair does not exist. It is only appearance. Although you might even experience 'sitting' on a non existent chair. It is all a trick of consciousness whose sole purpose seems to be creating experiences endlessly. Whose consciousness it it? This is not a proper question because 'beings' appear in consciousness and not consciousness in 'beings'. At this very moment you who are reading this are also dreaming this experience up. Consciousness is the substance of experience and creation. It creates from itself. Beyond consciousness or the source of consciousness cannot be experienced because experience is a property only of consciousness. The source of consciousness cannot be experienced because of absence of consciousness.

However, if there exists a source of consciousness, or more specifically, if the existence of consciousness itself is considered, from where does the sense of existence which IS and cannot be experienced or known but That which IS. Absolute existence or that which IS seems to move and that motion itself is consciousness which creates experience.

The IS is beyond experience being pure existence. The certainty of being.

Only One IS. Absolute existence. Beyond light and darkness. Beyond speech and silencOn consciousnesse.

Commitment to truth

Self knowledge is the single cure for all of life's ills.

To realize that you are consciousness and consciousness alone exists and that the universe is consciousness dispels all sorrow instantly.

In order to realize this truth, the mind must first be stilled.

It is only the still mind that realizes truth.

To still the mind, give up the craving for pleasure and the intention to deceive others.

The mind whose major interest is deception and manipulation is a tortured mind.

Be true. Commit only to truth above all else.

Avoid deceiving even a single soul. And above all, avoid self deception.

It is only the desire to deceive that bounds you. Words are the tools of deception.

Use them wisely. It is not an easy skill to wield words wisely. Very few can do it.

Truth Is. Words and deception cannot affect truth. Only the mind of the deceiver is darkened.

Decisively commit to truth alone.

In this single commitment to truth above all else lies the true path to sanity.

Truth cleans the mind. Purifies it completely. A pure mind clearly perceives truth.

Forces of darkness and subconscious tendencies of deception slowly weaken. Even if it destroys your life, commit only to truth. In every single moment and every single interaction with another.

There is no task more urgent than this. Centuries of deception have considerably darkened the mind. Turn on the light of truth and the darkness instantly vanishes.

Refrain from the temptation to deceive. Our intentions are rarely benevolent. However, if we commit to truth rather than our dark intentions, transformation occurs.

Philosophy is nothing but absolute commitment to truth.

The essence of spitituality

The core of all spiritual teachings is to turn your attention inwards towards awareness.
To realize and be convinced that consciousness is what 'you' are.

To be convinced of the reality of consciousness is the essence of spiritual teaching.

Once this is realized, it is seen that everything else, including 'others' is also consciousness.

Consciousness is the substance of the self and the universe.

Once you are convinced about this, life becomes deeper.

Dwell constantly on awareness.

Infact you are awareness. Not realizing this is the sole bondage.

To doubt that you are awareness is the only misery. The birth of fear.

All fear arises only when you are attached to the body.

To dwell as awareness destroys fear.

Beyond consciousness?

Sometimes you realize that to be conscious itself is to suffer.

To be conscious is not necessarily a good thing. To record the various moods of the mind. To be aware can sometimes be painful.

But what if consciousness itself comes and goes?

What is consciousness also is mortal?

What then is the source of consciousness?

How can there even be a beyond consciousness?

It cannot be even imagined.

Forever beyond concepts and consciousness.

The Absolute lies alone.

Here we go again

Although there is no reason to write, here I go again:

Life happens, irrespective of your choices, desires and mistakes. To imagine that you can let go implies that you have control. You are more lie a passenger on a boat pretending to steer it, when the captain is inside and invisible to other passengers. Those not aware of the captain will actually believe your imaginary motions implying that you are actually steering the boat. But those who know about the captain will be merely amused.

Our life is like that boat and we are like the passenger pretending to steer the boat and our actions and words many times are meant to deceive others about our sense of control of the boat's path. When we know that we are not really steering the boat.

Life's moves on. Motion itself is life.

You are the stillness.

Let life be.

Torment of the question

To realize that you are utterly alone brings out great fear.
When you look around and see all beings in relationships, whereas you are walking alone, it brings a sense of great despair and fear. And a longing for starting a family.

A deep sense of loss is felt. For the world which will vanish one day. To deal with this loss brings out great fear.

Is there a refuge? Is there God?

Sometimes, one has to have faith in God. Because our limited individual perception is invariably contaminated. Seek refuge in the Mind of God. The limited personal mind is contaminated with countless fears and perversions. Our personal desires and preferences are invariably destructive of peace.

This seeking mind of ours surely moves only in the direction of its own destruction. Seek refuge therefore in the indestructible. The Pure Mind. Which knows only truth. And is absolutely at Peace.

The personal mind endlessly throws up countless desires. All seeking their own fulfillment. Which one should be pursued? And all desires followed by the shadow of fear of their unfulfillment. What does an individual mind do? Even self effort seems trivial. So small is the personal mind and so full of impurity and density. All our past efforts seem to be destroyed by one unthinking act. Truly, the limited mind is not to be trusted.

Filled with doubts and despair, it seems like this entire life has been for naught. Why was a I ever born? Was it to only suffer? Confusion prevails all around. Should I get married or not? How come there is no definite answer to the most important questions in life? What ultimately matters? Do we even need to seek happiness? How little and trivial are our acts. How numerous our fears. How limited our abilities. How limited our knowledge.

What should be done? Why is there no answer? What exactly is this world? Why should I stay alive? Why is there confusion? Why is there despair? The effort to be aware leads only to more thoughts. Overcoming inertia is a constant struggle. Hatred of others forever present. This small mind forever discontent. Truly there is nothing you can do but play along. But why play? Not knowing is torture.

Confusion is actually the source of despair. Inability to handle the truth also leads to despair. When you are alone with no work to do, the mind is constantly tormented by one question, "What to do now"? The question, "What should I do now"? seems to be the one keeping the mind active. Constantly being asked in the background. To stop answering the question is to invite death. Hence the constant stress of coming up with endless answers to this one eternal question. The mind is too powerful. This question is the fuel for the mind. To end this question is to end the mind.

Activity is the very foundation of the world. The question 'What should I do now' is the very foundation of activity. Peace is experience only in those moments when the question is absent. This happens in the interval between tasks. Or in the course of a journey whose destination is not reached. Once the destination is reached, the question comes up again resulting in the arising of anxiety. Ceaseless anxiety comes from trying to ceaselessly trying to answer this question all your life. Holidays are ruined. Despair also comes from non action and also wrong action. The fear of choosing wrong action torments the mind.

Ultimately one realizes, intellectually at first, that the only sane answer is to sit still until death. Until the death of the question. Once the question dies, peace is permanent. As long as the possibility of action exists, so long the question will exist. Hence the importance of routine. Of family life. Having a routine and family life keeps the question at bay and hence results in peace. Having an uncontrolled life only increases the intensity of the question. Leading to destruction. To eat anytime, work anytime etc. torments the mind. One has to control the mind first. This is where self effort comes into play. An uncontrolled mind is tormenting. One who is single is constantly tormented by the question, "Should I marry?" and "Whom should I marry?". The answer, "I will not marry" will not end the anxiety unless there is external commitment like the life of a monk. Because as long as the option of marriage exists, anxiety will exist. Either get married and end the question or commit to remaining single externally and end the question. Keeping options open will only torment you. This question and also the question of 'Which career to pursue?' keeps misery alive.

Oh my God, I am stuck. Horribly stuck. I don't know what to do. And Not knowing keeps the question alive.

Have mercy on me O Lord. Please destroy the question. I have been completely overpowered by the mind. And now all I see is darkness. Restlessness is the very nature of the mind. No conviction can arise here.

True wisdom

Life's true wisdom is attained when you are absolutely convinced without any doubt that all is exactly how it is supposed to be at all times.

There are simply no mistakes.

Commitment to truth

It seems that the greatest challenge is co-existing with other people.
However, on looking a little deeper, it is only a belief.

Because you desire to keep stuff hidden.

The real fear of co-existing with other people is the fear of letting the truth slip and in the process liberating them and yourself.

Absolute commitment to truth is all that is required. Even at the cost of life.

The simplest way to begin is to stop lying about even the most trivial matters. Only then does truth become a habit. Overcome the temptation to lie.

Practice only this. Stop lying. And see what happens.

Forget about love, compassion, kindness, joy etc. Just commit to truth. Not your perception of truth. But actual truth.

One of the first thing that happens is that we become aware to the extent to which we lie to others and ourselves. We are lying to ourselves almost every millisecond!!!

So deeply is lying to ourselves conditioned that rarely a minute passes without a lie.

But be not depressed nor indulge in despair. Every small truth spoken has an exponential effect on the lies.

Lies being untrue have no real power. An a single truth can destroy a thousand lies in an instant.

Boldly speak the truth. Have no fear. Start small. Carry on brave soul. And you will soon overcome all fear.

Overcoming addictive behavioral patterns

The mind seems to be addicted to certain behavioral patterns which serve it no good.

It seems to be tempting to be vicious or mean, which however only increases misery.

Cultivate the determination to avoid indulging in addictive behavioral patterns.

This will result in peace and clarity.

Clarity of perception alone is valuable.

Anything that purifies perception must be pursued.

This is the only aim of self effort.