Intense emotions, suffering, regret

Mental anguish/Regret is one of the trickiest feelings.

It feels intense and stuck in thought loops of ceaselessly dwelling on the regrettable/anguish inducing action.

Only when it passes and one re-experiences clarity of perspective that it occurs how darkly immersed we were.

It seems almost impossible to believe that the anguish will end.

Yet, it passes. Eventually.

All states of mind eventually pass - come and go - and on disappearing the background clarity of simply being is revealed.

At the background is always simply clear beingness in the present moment.

All the anguish/regret/anxieties/miseries/despair eventually passes to reveal the naked clarity underneath.

This is the gift of suffering. To reveal that which lies beyond it.

Rant

I have nothing to say.

I only feel uneasy. 

Like wanting to scream and explode inside.

I hate it all.

Absolute hatred.

Why can't I just fuk it all?

Living a fake life.

#Insight~

 Our lives seem like a cozy imaginary escape from the terrifying (but liberating) reality of eternity.

Experience

Ultimately, there is only this experience.

Happening spontaneously.

Arising automatically.

There is only experiencing happening as it is.

What can be said about it?

Direct experience without getting stuck in the labyrinth of thoughts/dreams.

Experiencing aware of the experience.

Hasn't it always been like this?

What has seeking and striving really brought about?

Experiencing cannot stop itself. It cannot start itself.

Nothingness cannot be experienced. The absence of experience cannot be experienced.

Whatever it is that exists is 'perpetually' experiencing itself.

There is nothing other than this to attain. And nothing to avoid.

Simply stop running after illusions. Then you can finally rest in the original state experiencing itself.

Nothing to attain. Nothing to avoid.

Simply this. AS IT IS.

Just this

Just this moment. As it IS.

Feeling the beingness.

Nothing extraordinary, nothing special.

Simply this ordinary moment being aware.

No questions.

Simply being.

Now. Here. 

Is there anything else needed?

On independence

Most of our moments in life is spent in dependence.

Dependence on food.

Dependence on water.

Dependence on air.

Dependence on thought.

Dependence on other people.

Dreaming away.

Independence is in those rare moment when there is only resting in simply beingness. 

At one with the flow of life.

No thought, no distractions, no desires, no anxieties, no worries, no regrets, no fears, no questions.

Those rare moments of total independence are the true freedom.

Moments where there is only the soul of the universe being itself as itself.

Accepting what is

Sometimes, there is this huge urge for things to be different.

To wish that my situation/life circumstances were different from how it is.

But even if you had the 'perfect' life circumstances, would it really help?

What is the root of this feeling of discontent?

That this is just not enough.

That the future is uncertain and scary. With nothing to look forward to but added responsibilities.

That past mistakes can create haunting regrets. That I should have chosen differently.

Why is it so impossible to simply accept what is as it is?