Enlightenment

Enlightenment is needed only when the ego is believed to be real. Where there is no belief in the reality of the ego/personality, no enlightenment is needed or is possible.

In the absence of the ego, there is nobody there to get 'enlightened'.

Confusion

Confusion is a consequence of consciousness. As soon as consciousness arises, confusion arises. That which is beyond consciousness is beyond confusion.

Suffering identity

The key suffering that is experienced is a consequence of the notion of others. The existence of other people is the reason for 'my' suffering.

However, if looked at carefully, its the identification of 'me' which results in the notion of 'others'. 'Ego-identification' or the 'Me-identity' gets solidified through repeated dwelling. Once solidified, the concept of others also solidifies. A solid me vs a solid others in which the me is perpetually struggling to survive.

No respite for me. For suffering to end, the me has to go. No other way.

The Truth

Existence is absolute.

The bliss of existence knowing itself

Only the below is fundamental:

1. Existence (Sat)
2. The knowing of existence (Chit)
3. The bliss of knowing existence (Anand)

The self knowing existence whose output is the bliss of knowing existence. There is truly nothing else.

Existence knowing itself results in bliss and contentment. Nothing else can be confirmed.

On the peace of the absolute.

Anything that you are aware of is troublesome. When you are sick, you are aware of illness. When you are upset, you are aware of some mental disturbance. One who is aware of the mind is tormented by it. Even being aware of awareness is painful. The only peace lies in absolute unawareness. When there is no awareness, there is only the immensity of infinity. Forever undisturbed.

Life post two months marriage

Life post marriage is not all that great. The key ingredient of love seems missing. And in its absence, suspicion is there. Suspicion of motive. It is very difficult to willingly do something good for someone you don't love. Love is missing in this marriage. And without love, its all just mundane activity. Without love, life itself is one long drag. Ah, how can one sustain oneself without love.

Sometimes, I do consider separation. Its better to live alone than live as a loveless couple.

Not sure how this will turn out...