Heresy

Sometimes, there is desire to commit heresy. To let out the serpents and dragons of destruction to consume the world. Nothing shall remain.

What remains and what passes away? All the words and creations arise and fade only to arise again. There is nothing here that is substantial. There is no beginning and no end. Utter emptiness.

Facing the fear

Loss is painful. Fear is terrifying. Life is unpredictable.Changes in life can be quite unsettling, leaving us feeling empty. The truth can be terrifying. We distract ourselves in order to avoid seeing the truth. But the truth does not go away.

The truth destroys everything that is false. Sometimes we take pleasure in false things. In false beliefs. We do not want to lose them. Hence we avoid the truth. But you will lose everything that is false. Only truth lasts. In fact, the false has never really existed. So it cannot be lost.

If you really consider it, your deepest fear and most secret wish are identical and is already true.

Decision making

There is absolutely no basis for making any decision. When you are presented with two options and none of them matters, which one do you choose? All our choices in life are like this. This causes agitation in the mind.

Often, you start regretting the moment you make a particular choice, wondering whether you made the right choice. What really is the right choice? The question "Did I make the right choice" torments the mind.

And the mind keeps echoing the regret. What is the origin of choice? What is choice? This question can be pondered eternally because it has no answer. Where did the pink unicorn come from? You can speculate this question for eternity and ultimately is nothing but mental entertainment. Questions are fuel for the mind. Without questions, the mind disappears. Questions keep the mind alive.

When all questions subside, only that which is remains.

SInking into darkness

The mind is capable of sinking into unimaginable depths of degradation. And there is a perverse pleasure that it gets from that. It is capable of getting addicted to barbaric acts of torture and cruelty and its ability to inflict suffering is immense. The reason why the mind falls into degradation is to escape the inherent emptiness of life. It seeks to fill itself with total perversion and degradation. And it keeps going deeper. And all the falls into degradation leave behind an impression on the mind stuff. This is the price of falling into perversion.

There is simply no way out without deep repentance and prayer. May the perversions and darkness of the mind be released.

When the mind sinks into darkness, it gets pulled further in and is unable to appreciate the simple pleasures of life, seeking instead only greater degrees of perversions. This becomes a vicious circle and one ultimately becomes a beast.

May the darkness be enlightened. Grace alone can remove the darkness.

Why seek?

What is it that keeps us forever seeking? What is this drive to strive higher? What is this deep fear of degrading?

The only way to overcome fear is to look clearly into the heart of things. Solitude and melancholy marinate the soul. Clearing the waste. Getting rid of the junk. Clarity is not something to be attained, but getting rid of all that is clouding the vision.

To be at ease with your soul. To know that you know. Getting in touch with your soul.

Just let it be. Clarity is inherent. The natural state. Peace.

Certainty

To attain mastery over something is an arduous journey. There are many false alarms on the way. Perhaps the biggest obstacle to mastery is the belief that you have already mastered.
The biggest obstacle to knowledge is the belief that you already know.

Is there anything that is absolutely certain.

1. There is something here. Something seems to be happening. And this is known.
2. I know I exist.
3. What I am I do not know. But that existence exists and knows it exists.

Only this is certain. What is seen around, I have no idea. From where do sounds arise I have no idea. From where do thoughts arise I have no idea. From where do I arise I have no idea.

There is only existence knowing that it exists.

Movement is continuous.

What causes motion is unknown.

Existence exists as movement. But is inherently absolutely still.

Information is endless. And continuously changing. It cannot be understood. Because the cause of information is unknown.

We can only 'learn' social conventions and mechanisms. The nature of existence is unknown.

All learning is only of conventions and methodologies. True knowledge is the knowing of existence.

To lead a peaceful life, all that is needed is to avoid folly. To question every assumption. To become aware of the follies of life. Of self deception. Of unquestioned beliefs.

Confusion arises from being caught up in details and is an endless loop. Clarity is inherent. Confusion is created.

Lack of self control leads to confusion. Less is more.

Clarity is knowing emptiness.

Is that which is incompetent?

One wish

If I had one wish, it would be to choose the time of my death.