The Truth

Existence is absolute.

The bliss of existence knowing itself

Only the below is fundamental:

1. Existence (Sat)
2. The knowing of existence (Chit)
3. The bliss of knowing existence (Anand)

The self knowing existence whose output is the bliss of knowing existence. There is truly nothing else.

Existence knowing itself results in bliss and contentment. Nothing else can be confirmed.

On the peace of the absolute.

Anything that you are aware of is troublesome. When you are sick, you are aware of illness. When you are upset, you are aware of some mental disturbance. One who is aware of the mind is tormented by it. Even being aware of awareness is painful. The only peace lies in absolute unawareness. When there is no awareness, there is only the immensity of infinity. Forever undisturbed.

Life post two months marriage

Life post marriage is not all that great. The key ingredient of love seems missing. And in its absence, suspicion is there. Suspicion of motive. It is very difficult to willingly do something good for someone you don't love. Love is missing in this marriage. And without love, its all just mundane activity. Without love, life itself is one long drag. Ah, how can one sustain oneself without love.

Sometimes, I do consider separation. Its better to live alone than live as a loveless couple.

Not sure how this will turn out...

System complexity and errors

As you increase the complexity of a system, you also increase the frequency of errors. Increase in abstraction comes at a cost of decrease in robustness. Increased complexity leads to more frequent occurrence of errors.

When you increase the complexity of a system, you are basically increasing the number of states and making it more difficult to distinguish between two distinct states. When two distinct states start of overlap, error is created.

A highly complex system is therefore prone to error occurrences.

Worst day again - part 2

Today was one of the bad days again. Caused by confusion of whether to go or not to go for work. Ended up calling in sick. Context is that on the previous day, I was directly informed by a colleague very firmly to not show up for work if unwell (I was coughing and sitting next to him), resulting in leaving work after lunch. Numerous conflicting thoughts resulted in a decision to skip work, which was later intenesly regretted and suffered mentally.

The mind can be vicious, tormenting with thoughts and despairs and dark visions. And when it is doing its thing, it can appear very real.

Fantasy of love

The fantasy of love often seems more enchanting than its reality.